You loved me for 5 months. I was all you wanted for that long and then one day you decided I wasn’t what you wanted anymore. You went from telling me how in love you were with me everyday to not talking to me at all very quickly. It was a very hard situation to deal with. Now you’re in jail? How could you do that to yourself? You’re only 17. You know right from wrong. Now you may lose the next few years of your life to prison. I know I shouldn’t care because you don’t care about me anymore, but I still do. And I can’t do anything about it. I wish you would come home. I hope you are okay. Maybe i’ll write you a letter, maybe I wont. Still debating.

Everyone at my school thinks I’m so happy and bubbly all the time. But right now I’m falling apart. Why does he do this to me? Why can’t he just be here for me all the way? Thats all I ask of him. Nothing more ever. I don’t put pressure on him, I don’t ask him for much of anything. I just want him to be all in. Not 1 foot in the door and 1 foot out. All I’ve done for the past 4 months is love him with everything I have. I know he loves me too. But right now, I can feel him pushing me away again. I don’t know if I can handle it. No, I’m strong. I’m better than this. I’ll get through this in the end. I was happy before him and I can be happy after him. No matter how long it may take.

I want you to be all mine. Not mine and hers. Not mine hers, and hers. I know you love me. I know you love me as much as you say you do. I wish you weren’t such a messed up kid and maybe I could have you all to myself. We do have a future. We have the future that we planned together but the way were going right now were just ruining it for ourselves. I resent you every single day but I love you with every fiber of my being. I know what were doing is wrong but I just can’t give you up. We’ve already figured out that we can’t go a long time without each other. You ending things again is the scariest thing I can imagine. I want you and only you forever. Yes were young, and yes right now things are complicated but please don’t leave me again. I can’t handle it. Were a mess with or without eachother. So why not be a mess together?